So you say you're graduating college and now you're anxious to get your career and "new life" underway. You're looking forward to getting away from, really getting away from, those "old" folks who call themselves your parents but who never seem to really understand you at all.
You've suffered through 12 years of public school and maybe 2 to 4 years (or more) of college, freedom isn't around the corner, now it's clearly in site!
Well, hold your horses. The pain isn't over. In fact, it's just beginning.
Your first year on the job will blow up a lot of your illusions. But hey, it's only your first year right? There's better to come. After all, you're looking for a long career and only Lord knows where the years will take you. Well, the Lord and in all modesty.. me.
It isn't going to be a picnic.
After year one comes year two then year three. You'll be lucky to be employed not only by the same company three years from now but employed in your chosen field at all! And once you're busy slaving away at what you've been learning all these years.. which isn't necessarily what you think it is... you've actually been taught how to be a GOOD SLAVE... all sorts of things begin to happen in your life and in your head.
If you haven't already done so, then you may fall in love. Then comes the baby or babies. And all of the responsibilities that entails. Now things get really "interesting". Job, family, job, family, job, family. Slowly you and your better half find yourself drifting apart, pursuing other interests whenever you can find the time. And there's the haggling and arguments over finances, always a hungry third party of any marriage. Not to mention all of the unwanted "advice" by well meaning (?) in-laws.
Oh yeah, you're new life is going swell!
Then one day, after years of banging your head against the wall meeting the needs of needy employers you look in the mirror and wonder what the hell ever happened to YOU. Now you're the parent struggling to understand the brats you're putting through college, sweating over how you're going to pay for everything. But you're still hopeful. One day you're going to retire and if your employer doesn't rip you off and if you can keep the government out of your pocket long enough, and if your kids don't drive you to drink and drugs, you'll be able to retire!
Ah yes, so don't sweat that first year of hell on the job, there's 29 more to come and then one day, yes one day, you'll finally be able to settle down into that New Life you've been wanting all along.
That is, if you don't croak along the way.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Don't Shake Moe's Hand
Moe, of The Moe Radio Show on Q92, is a fat bastard by his own admission. Well, I dressed it up some.. but he does says he’s a fat "dude". He looks disgusting naked (again, by his own admission) but he likes his women "hot". They are always "hot" never, "a great looking woman."
Moe tells us he’s a selfish guy. He’s also rude as hell to anyone whom he doesn’t agree with. This sort of crap is very popular among most of the fools who ring him up on the radio. Even those half-wits who call to cuss him out when they know full well he’s going to bash their brains out with screaming and fuming. It’s ridiculous really. But I’m stuck listening to this guy rant about his fat ass and stupid opinions because my co-workers like to listen to him so they can ridicule nearly everything he says.
For example, Moe claims he just doesn’t understand guys who aren’t trying to lay every "hot girl" they can get their hands on. He admits to having sacked XX number of women in his short demented life. I’ve heard other fat guys brag like this but hey, Moe may well be on the level. I doubt though these "hot women" are after him because he’s on the radio! We all know people who make being on the radio a career are on the radio for a reason.. their voices are their best feature, if you know what I mean. I suspect these women are either high or drunk or both. You know near closing time everything looks "doable".. even guys like Moe I guess. "Hot women" doesn’t necessarily mean, "intelligent women."
Years ago I dated a woman who had it all going for her; big breasted, shapely figure and a face with sleepy eyes that just seemed to beg for it. In Moe’s terms she was "hot". But along with the promise of a good time came a nightmare of emotional highs and lows and what can only be termed "insanity unbounded".
For example, DeeDee (not her real name but I don’t want her looking me up with a freak’n suicide vest strapped to her big boobs), once dragged me out to the boondocks kicking, screaming and protesting to meet "Don Johnson", the actor. In her warped mind this hillbilly living in a beat up mobile home was "Don Johnson". Now he never said he was Don Johnson, she simply had convinced herself he was the famed actor. He looked nothing like Don Johnson! I’m talking NOTHING LIKE HIM AT ALL!
I remember taking one look at this drunk in a dirty T-shirt standing in the doorway of this trashed out mobile home, turning around, cussing DeeDee out and jumping in my car I left her with him way out in hillbilly land never to look back!
So much for "hot women" Moe, you freak’n retard. All any man needs is ONE good woman, everything beyond that simply makes you a pig. It’s quality that counts most in life, not quantity.
Recently Moe had a run in with a guy in a lavatory. The "old guy" as Moe put it, challenged him for not washing his hands after "going number 1". So for 15 minutes (or so it seemed) Moe ranted on how he washes his "junk" (again, Moe’s term for it) BEFORE he takes a piss! LOL LOL, what a knothead! Every two-year-old knows to wash his hand AFTER taking a piss but here’s lady-killer Moe telling us he washes his pecker BEFORE he takes a piss!
So let’s take a step back here for a minute and access the situation: A fat guy with strong sexual fantasies on the verge of total perversion who doesn’t wash his hands after taking a piss – every "hot" woman’s dream I’m sure.
But consider this: the guy is a Disc Jockey sitting on his fat, sweaty ass all day. Anyone who ever had to work next to a fat sweaty guy knows that’s not good. They stink. They stink because they’re constantly sweating. They stink because they tend to carry shit and piss in their underwear (you can smell it I’m not making this stuff up). And now Moe tells us proudly that he doesn’t wash his hands after handling his "junk"… OH MY FREAK’N GOD!
If not for the laughter in my office as this moron rant on about the "old dude who should be dead" criticizing him for his lack of class I think I would puke!
Now imagine this, knowing all of this about Moe, you walk up to him and he sticks his hand out to shake your hand. Do you accept it?
Moe tells us he’s a selfish guy. He’s also rude as hell to anyone whom he doesn’t agree with. This sort of crap is very popular among most of the fools who ring him up on the radio. Even those half-wits who call to cuss him out when they know full well he’s going to bash their brains out with screaming and fuming. It’s ridiculous really. But I’m stuck listening to this guy rant about his fat ass and stupid opinions because my co-workers like to listen to him so they can ridicule nearly everything he says.
For example, Moe claims he just doesn’t understand guys who aren’t trying to lay every "hot girl" they can get their hands on. He admits to having sacked XX number of women in his short demented life. I’ve heard other fat guys brag like this but hey, Moe may well be on the level. I doubt though these "hot women" are after him because he’s on the radio! We all know people who make being on the radio a career are on the radio for a reason.. their voices are their best feature, if you know what I mean. I suspect these women are either high or drunk or both. You know near closing time everything looks "doable".. even guys like Moe I guess. "Hot women" doesn’t necessarily mean, "intelligent women."
Years ago I dated a woman who had it all going for her; big breasted, shapely figure and a face with sleepy eyes that just seemed to beg for it. In Moe’s terms she was "hot". But along with the promise of a good time came a nightmare of emotional highs and lows and what can only be termed "insanity unbounded".
For example, DeeDee (not her real name but I don’t want her looking me up with a freak’n suicide vest strapped to her big boobs), once dragged me out to the boondocks kicking, screaming and protesting to meet "Don Johnson", the actor. In her warped mind this hillbilly living in a beat up mobile home was "Don Johnson". Now he never said he was Don Johnson, she simply had convinced herself he was the famed actor. He looked nothing like Don Johnson! I’m talking NOTHING LIKE HIM AT ALL!
I remember taking one look at this drunk in a dirty T-shirt standing in the doorway of this trashed out mobile home, turning around, cussing DeeDee out and jumping in my car I left her with him way out in hillbilly land never to look back!
So much for "hot women" Moe, you freak’n retard. All any man needs is ONE good woman, everything beyond that simply makes you a pig. It’s quality that counts most in life, not quantity.
Recently Moe had a run in with a guy in a lavatory. The "old guy" as Moe put it, challenged him for not washing his hands after "going number 1". So for 15 minutes (or so it seemed) Moe ranted on how he washes his "junk" (again, Moe’s term for it) BEFORE he takes a piss! LOL LOL, what a knothead! Every two-year-old knows to wash his hand AFTER taking a piss but here’s lady-killer Moe telling us he washes his pecker BEFORE he takes a piss!
So let’s take a step back here for a minute and access the situation: A fat guy with strong sexual fantasies on the verge of total perversion who doesn’t wash his hands after taking a piss – every "hot" woman’s dream I’m sure.
But consider this: the guy is a Disc Jockey sitting on his fat, sweaty ass all day. Anyone who ever had to work next to a fat sweaty guy knows that’s not good. They stink. They stink because they’re constantly sweating. They stink because they tend to carry shit and piss in their underwear (you can smell it I’m not making this stuff up). And now Moe tells us proudly that he doesn’t wash his hands after handling his "junk"… OH MY FREAK’N GOD!
If not for the laughter in my office as this moron rant on about the "old dude who should be dead" criticizing him for his lack of class I think I would puke!
Now imagine this, knowing all of this about Moe, you walk up to him and he sticks his hand out to shake your hand. Do you accept it?
Monday, April 19, 2010
Why Ice Land Sucks: What's in a Name?
Ice Land is really beginning to piss me off. Not only do they have the gull to pollute most of Europe with a volcano eruption but with those ridiculous sounding names you can’t even cuss the bastards out properly.
In China every other person is named "Lee". Every third person is named "Yang". These are names we can handle. But try "Yokuyiolanoddurandnf god dammit" and you end up with a mouthful of shit.
Even the late, great, Jun Fan Yuen Kam had the good sense to give us a name we all can handle; Bruce Lee. But of course, only a fool would have cussed Bruce Lee out by any name.
In China every other person is named "Lee". Every third person is named "Yang". These are names we can handle. But try "Yokuyiolanoddurandnf god dammit" and you end up with a mouthful of shit.
Even the late, great, Jun Fan Yuen Kam had the good sense to give us a name we all can handle; Bruce Lee. But of course, only a fool would have cussed Bruce Lee out by any name.
Turn the Volume Up
If you're up cruising the Internet and find yourself here then turn the damn volume up there's some good jamming in the house.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Shut Up A-Holes, you ain't done anything yet!
Working in America today sucks. Most of us know this. But the blind young A-holes coming up may not fully understand how much they are being cheated. But then again, they haven't done anything to deserve anything better either!
When I hear these young assholes cry in their beer I can't keep my mouth shut. I let them know that their generation hasn't done a damn thing yet. They haven't even earned the right to complain about us old farts! Mostly they should keep their mouths shut and swallow.
Take the Internet for example, today's twenty-year-olds fell into it. It wasn't their generation that invented it. No, it was us "old farts" that done the deed.
Cars, again, twenty-year-olds haven't had a damn thing to do with inventing that either. Those old bastards older then me did that one.
Look at the asinine clothes these kids wear, nothing new there either. Some old bastard has made all that trash possible as well.
How about all that crap on these young girl's face? They didn't invent that mud either.
Twenty-year-olds didn't invent the ink running in their veins, polluting their bodies with toxins in the form of "tats" either. Hell, that one was invented centuries ago!
And thinking of tats I have to laugh when some young moron calls that shit "art". LOL LOL.. under-educated nitwits! Norman Rockwell done art.. what you have scribbled all over your hide are freak'n CARTOONS ya knotheads!
Just too damn funny to think how much these young folks just don't understand. Why hell, if it wasn’t for all of their give-it-to-me-cause-I’m-too-stupid-to-earn-it attitude we wouldn’t have that half-wit in the White House running our country into the toilet day-after-day.
Enough said, I’m out of here. Us old farts need our sleep so we can wake up refreshed for yet another day of bitch’n.
Have a good day. :O/
When I hear these young assholes cry in their beer I can't keep my mouth shut. I let them know that their generation hasn't done a damn thing yet. They haven't even earned the right to complain about us old farts! Mostly they should keep their mouths shut and swallow.
Take the Internet for example, today's twenty-year-olds fell into it. It wasn't their generation that invented it. No, it was us "old farts" that done the deed.
Cars, again, twenty-year-olds haven't had a damn thing to do with inventing that either. Those old bastards older then me did that one.
Look at the asinine clothes these kids wear, nothing new there either. Some old bastard has made all that trash possible as well.
How about all that crap on these young girl's face? They didn't invent that mud either.
Twenty-year-olds didn't invent the ink running in their veins, polluting their bodies with toxins in the form of "tats" either. Hell, that one was invented centuries ago!
And thinking of tats I have to laugh when some young moron calls that shit "art". LOL LOL.. under-educated nitwits! Norman Rockwell done art.. what you have scribbled all over your hide are freak'n CARTOONS ya knotheads!
Just too damn funny to think how much these young folks just don't understand. Why hell, if it wasn’t for all of their give-it-to-me-cause-I’m-too-stupid-to-earn-it attitude we wouldn’t have that half-wit in the White House running our country into the toilet day-after-day.
Enough said, I’m out of here. Us old farts need our sleep so we can wake up refreshed for yet another day of bitch’n.
Have a good day. :O/
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
How Karma took an Ass Out
This Ass ( I won’t give his name to protect what little dignity the fool has left), had a knee-jerk-ass-kissing reaction a few months ago to an "incident" which resulted in me being "reassigned" from the asinine job I had.
The Ass never bother to take the time to ask me why I did what I did, he didn’t care. He simply ran on his pathetic half-witted, chase-the-frig’n-carrot instincts as he played to his hillbilly ego. You see, the Ass had hopes of someday being accepted by the Powers That Be as one of them. But what he never figured out is that if those powers wanted him they would have hired him directly years ago! Instead, they were always leading him on to make him think that one day he would be Blessed and given the nod to Enter into the Inner Circle. But as it stood he, like all of the rest of us, were "sub-contracted" to this major American corporation.
Now when the "incident" went down, and the Ass had his knee-jerk reaction, he no doubt thought he was on top of things and that some how his swift, but totally blind, action would assure him his coveted spot among the Immortals.
Once my head had cleared as to what took place I begin a letter writing campaign as I waited for my reassignment to a new post. Last on my list was the Ass himself. Step-by-step I told him what happened and why I took the action I had taken. All the stuff the Ass never bothered to ask me. Then at the bottom of my letter I wished him well for whatever he thought he had going at this company and that karma is so unpredictable. I couldn’t have nailed it any better then this.
This incident took place several months ago and I still wake up in the morning the same way in which I go to bed, laughing. I find it out side of my capabilities to stop laughing when I think how right on the money I was with the karma thing. I’m sure he must have smirked over that line in my letter to him because he simply believed he had everything under his control. But he didn’t count on karma and a really fucked up son to take his ass out of his ass-kissing job!
Apparently, the Ass’ son had borrowed his dad’s piece-of-shit pickup truck and managed to get it riddled with bullets! Then to protect his worthless son the Ass decided to lie to the police by telling them it was he and his wife who were ambushed by a group of men as they were driving about their business. And hence the Ass set in motion his eventual doom. But the icing on the cake was the time he spent in jail and his name dropping of the major American firm he was hoping someday to be a part of. This American company is always quick to cut their losses as soon as they are recognized and they never support the losers clinging to their coat tails. And hence the Ass was dismissed by both the company which he worked for, and the company that he was assigned to! HA! The DOUBLE-WHAMMY sealed his worthless reputation and his dismal future. Now it is he who must try to find a job and start all over. So I lay there in bed laughing as I think of the turn of events.
As for me, I’m still with the same company and in fact they have trained me for a better position!
Karma, never leave home thinking you can be an Ass and everything will work out for the best in the end. As I told the Ass, karma is so unpredictable.
The Ass never bother to take the time to ask me why I did what I did, he didn’t care. He simply ran on his pathetic half-witted, chase-the-frig’n-carrot instincts as he played to his hillbilly ego. You see, the Ass had hopes of someday being accepted by the Powers That Be as one of them. But what he never figured out is that if those powers wanted him they would have hired him directly years ago! Instead, they were always leading him on to make him think that one day he would be Blessed and given the nod to Enter into the Inner Circle. But as it stood he, like all of the rest of us, were "sub-contracted" to this major American corporation.
Now when the "incident" went down, and the Ass had his knee-jerk reaction, he no doubt thought he was on top of things and that some how his swift, but totally blind, action would assure him his coveted spot among the Immortals.
Once my head had cleared as to what took place I begin a letter writing campaign as I waited for my reassignment to a new post. Last on my list was the Ass himself. Step-by-step I told him what happened and why I took the action I had taken. All the stuff the Ass never bothered to ask me. Then at the bottom of my letter I wished him well for whatever he thought he had going at this company and that karma is so unpredictable. I couldn’t have nailed it any better then this.
This incident took place several months ago and I still wake up in the morning the same way in which I go to bed, laughing. I find it out side of my capabilities to stop laughing when I think how right on the money I was with the karma thing. I’m sure he must have smirked over that line in my letter to him because he simply believed he had everything under his control. But he didn’t count on karma and a really fucked up son to take his ass out of his ass-kissing job!
Apparently, the Ass’ son had borrowed his dad’s piece-of-shit pickup truck and managed to get it riddled with bullets! Then to protect his worthless son the Ass decided to lie to the police by telling them it was he and his wife who were ambushed by a group of men as they were driving about their business. And hence the Ass set in motion his eventual doom. But the icing on the cake was the time he spent in jail and his name dropping of the major American firm he was hoping someday to be a part of. This American company is always quick to cut their losses as soon as they are recognized and they never support the losers clinging to their coat tails. And hence the Ass was dismissed by both the company which he worked for, and the company that he was assigned to! HA! The DOUBLE-WHAMMY sealed his worthless reputation and his dismal future. Now it is he who must try to find a job and start all over. So I lay there in bed laughing as I think of the turn of events.
As for me, I’m still with the same company and in fact they have trained me for a better position!
Karma, never leave home thinking you can be an Ass and everything will work out for the best in the end. As I told the Ass, karma is so unpredictable.
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