Stuck

So here I am sitting in the lobby of one of our nation's most successful corporations watching people come and go. What strikes me is how fat and sloppy so many of them look. These people are in front of computers all day and gabbing on the telephone.

I began playing a mental game trying to guess how much some of them weigh. I also look at the way they are walking for tale-tell signs of previous injuries. There are a lot of people with funny ankles. Which goes along with all the weight these folks are carrying.

Here comes a young woman I've seen many times in the past. She's a real heifer. I bet she hits the scale at a slim 300lbs. Every step is a real struggle for her. She's breathing exceptionally hard, even for her. "Hello" I say to her. I love saying that just to watch her struggle with a response. It's a tortured, "hugggg", or something like that. She looked as if she was going to puke. I laugh to myself. Beautiful! It’s cheap lobby entertainment. What a dip shit. I wonder to myself at what point will she decide she's just too goddamn fat to go on any more. The guy from the janitorial service tells me he overheard her arguing over a cell phone, "I did NOT eat $300 worth of groceries!" Now you know she damn well did. I chuckle thinking of the poor slob on the OTHER side of that conversation. But hey, you married it pal.

This other woman enters the lobby. My god! She really looks like shit. I mean, there is no other word for it. This woman is so fat her skin has broken open and there are all of these small pucker marks all over her arms. "Hello" she says gasping for air as she aims her oversized ass for the chair next to me. I move slightly to the edge of my chair in case her aim is off and she falls my way. And that is what it is, a fall. She hits the chair hard as she free-falls a good 400lbs.

"Hello" I reply back.

"Do you think it is going to rain today?" She says out of breath. "It looks like.. (big gulp of oxygen).. rain."

"Yes," I reply, "they say there is a good chance of rain."

The woman is breathing hard, really hard. The janitorial guy comes around the corner and smiles at me. He can read my thoughts. He licks his lips and laugh to himself. Pervert, I chuckle. The woman begins to stir again. Slowly she rises. It's a struggle all the way. Once she is on both feet she says, "Have a good day." and heads for the door. I had assumed she was waiting on a ride but no, there's no ride for her. She's parked about 15 feet out front.

"It's a gland problem." the janitorial guy says with a smirk on his face as he lowers the trash can from her cubicle to show me it's content. There’re Ho-Ho wrappers, empty soft drink containers, candy wrappers and cup cake holders. Just an amazing assortment of junk. "I emptied it once already today." He says shaking his head. "She's living the dream." He chuckles.

"It’s a gland problem alright." I say, "If you keep stuffing your glands you end up looking like her!"

It's all pathetic when you think about it. These same people hold "bake sales" right in this very lobby. Instead of handing out cup cakes and pies they should be giving away health club memberships. And it's not just the women. The men look like shit as well. One fat ass after another. Then to top it off, they head out doors to smoke!

The elevator has a sign on it something like: "Use stairways for better health." HA! There's an idea. But these people will have none of that. Here's this monster of a man, I'm guessing 6' 6". He's so fat he HAS to take the elevator to get to the cafeteria (where else?). And he's so lazy that wherever he goes he pushes the handicap access button to get the doors to open for him! It's has to be hard to feel like a real man when you are basically helpless like this. How do these people function?

The really sad part of all of this is we all KNOW the outcome of this sort of lifestyle. Overweight, smoking, lack of exercise... it all leads to the exact same place where all these people are headed.. early death. You want to shake them and scream at them, WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING???? But nah, you're not going to do that. At least I'm not going to do that. I'm having way too much fun watching these sloppy assholes killing themselves one mouthful at a time.