Neighborhood Development

The Drunk

My God!

Every year at this time we are all subjected to the whims and cries of atheists who cry foul over the worship of "Jesus" and the belief in God. Personally, I find this completely asinine and the work of ignorance on both sides of the debate.

For the Christians, they are so busy trying to convince everyone that not only are they correct in their belief but that everyone else outside their immediate sect is wrong. They want to desperately believe that they and they alone possess the Holy Grail of Ultimate Knowledge and to the hell with the rest of us.

As pathetic as many Christians are the atheists are worst. They want to convince everyone that there is no God. That when we die that's it. There is no point to anything. Oh sure they will say things like life is all about being good to one another, or it's about this or that. Many atheists have this fantastic scenario worked out in their brains. However, if you take out the eternity thing you end up with nothing but a handful of poo. Because ultimately, to an atheist, it's like being gay.. life is all about masturbation. In the case of the atheist it's a mental masturbation. This notion leads us to no where. And, it's stupid. It's stupid because it doesn't serve the larger good.

Now back to the Christian. Because Christians gain their ideas from the "Holy Bible" and none of them seem to agree to what it tells them they all are messed up as well. They don't really understand the Bible. They are incapable of seeing how ridiculous much of it is if taken literally.

For example, we are told in the New Testament that Jesus came about because of the "Holy Spirit". A rather vague character to say the least. We are told to believe that it wasn't old Joe who tapped Mary but rather this Spirit dude.

Problem with this nonsense is we are also told Jesus was of the seed of David. Mmmmm... Joseph was "of the seed of David" as well. Now the plot thickens. What we are looking at here is that Joseph jumped the gun and knocked Mary up before he was ALLOWED to. Joe was of a priesthood class and was only in the first stages of his marriage to Mary. The Jews love to drag these things out and Joe wasn't of mind to wait for his bride! So here we see how the scriptures attempt to, and in many cases succeed to, mislead us.

Another example of how messed up the bible is we are further told an angel said the boy was to be named "Jesus". We have no idea why a Jewish boy would be given a Greek name but there you are all the same. We're also not told what the name means. Whereas elsewhere we're told he is to be called Emmanuel. And every Christian will be quick to point out it means, "God with us". Now that we know is a Jewish thing. Just as the Jews back in those days loved to number everything. Perhaps the most famous being "666" because every pervert and low life loves to scribble those numbers on his or her ass. But turn it around and we have "999":

"The number 999 is the reverse of 666, the number of the Beast of the Revelation (Apocalypse). This arithmetical strangeness demonstrates that the "power" of the Beast, 666, will be "reversed" by 153, characteristic number of the Christ, to give as result 999, symbol of the application of the divine justice. Thus Satan will be chained for 1000 years, 999 + 1." http://www.ridingthebeast.com/numbers/nu999.php

All of which causes the atheists to throw up their hands in dismay and seek a world without God.
Atheists can not logically explain the joy that fill many Christians thought patterns. They also can not explain the amazing changes we often see in people who say they have come to accept Christ. What the atheists do not grasp is that the more they insist there is no God the more empowered Christians feel in saying there IS a God. Like children tugging back and forth over a treat, the atheist and the believer are locked together. One without the other risk losing the identity they both struggle so hard to create. It is a truly maddening situation.

In the end, both sides need to chill. The atheist may be in bliss in his or her belief in nothing.. go for it. And the Christian may be in total joy in his or her belief in a Supreme Being.. again, go for it. It doesn't matter what I believe or don't believe in. My "soul" is mine, my destiny is also mine. The choices I make, one way or the other, are mine. Believer or non-Believer ultimately doesn't matter. The vast majority of people (read ALL) can not save themselves much less the rest of us. Whether I suffer in Hell or rise to the Glory of God doesn't mean a thing to you no matter how much you protest otherwise.

As much as we may love others, feel compassion for those people dotted throughout our lives, ultimately it's all about "us". It's all about "you." Because when you die you will own the moment, the experience will be yours. Your consciousness will be the last thing racing through your brain. Therefore, no matter what you believe, or do not believe, guard your own consciousness well and let others live as they chose to believe.

The Day After

The Negotiator

Black Chick Flicks

The Perfect Crime

Stuck

So here I am sitting in the lobby of one of our nation's most successful corporations watching people come and go. What strikes me is how fat and sloppy so many of them look. These people are in front of computers all day and gabbing on the telephone.

I began playing a mental game trying to guess how much some of them weigh. I also look at the way they are walking for tale-tell signs of previous injuries. There are a lot of people with funny ankles. Which goes along with all the weight these folks are carrying.

Here comes a young woman I've seen many times in the past. She's a real heifer. I bet she hits the scale at a slim 300lbs. Every step is a real struggle for her. She's breathing exceptionally hard, even for her. "Hello" I say to her. I love saying that just to watch her struggle with a response. It's a tortured, "hugggg", or something like that. She looked as if she was going to puke. I laugh to myself. Beautiful! It’s cheap lobby entertainment. What a dip shit. I wonder to myself at what point will she decide she's just too goddamn fat to go on any more. The guy from the janitorial service tells me he overheard her arguing over a cell phone, "I did NOT eat $300 worth of groceries!" Now you know she damn well did. I chuckle thinking of the poor slob on the OTHER side of that conversation. But hey, you married it pal.

This other woman enters the lobby. My god! She really looks like shit. I mean, there is no other word for it. This woman is so fat her skin has broken open and there are all of these small pucker marks all over her arms. "Hello" she says gasping for air as she aims her oversized ass for the chair next to me. I move slightly to the edge of my chair in case her aim is off and she falls my way. And that is what it is, a fall. She hits the chair hard as she free-falls a good 400lbs.

"Hello" I reply back.

"Do you think it is going to rain today?" She says out of breath. "It looks like.. (big gulp of oxygen).. rain."

"Yes," I reply, "they say there is a good chance of rain."

The woman is breathing hard, really hard. The janitorial guy comes around the corner and smiles at me. He can read my thoughts. He licks his lips and laugh to himself. Pervert, I chuckle. The woman begins to stir again. Slowly she rises. It's a struggle all the way. Once she is on both feet she says, "Have a good day." and heads for the door. I had assumed she was waiting on a ride but no, there's no ride for her. She's parked about 15 feet out front.

"It's a gland problem." the janitorial guy says with a smirk on his face as he lowers the trash can from her cubicle to show me it's content. There’re Ho-Ho wrappers, empty soft drink containers, candy wrappers and cup cake holders. Just an amazing assortment of junk. "I emptied it once already today." He says shaking his head. "She's living the dream." He chuckles.

"It’s a gland problem alright." I say, "If you keep stuffing your glands you end up looking like her!"

It's all pathetic when you think about it. These same people hold "bake sales" right in this very lobby. Instead of handing out cup cakes and pies they should be giving away health club memberships. And it's not just the women. The men look like shit as well. One fat ass after another. Then to top it off, they head out doors to smoke!

The elevator has a sign on it something like: "Use stairways for better health." HA! There's an idea. But these people will have none of that. Here's this monster of a man, I'm guessing 6' 6". He's so fat he HAS to take the elevator to get to the cafeteria (where else?). And he's so lazy that wherever he goes he pushes the handicap access button to get the doors to open for him! It's has to be hard to feel like a real man when you are basically helpless like this. How do these people function?

The really sad part of all of this is we all KNOW the outcome of this sort of lifestyle. Overweight, smoking, lack of exercise... it all leads to the exact same place where all these people are headed.. early death. You want to shake them and scream at them, WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING???? But nah, you're not going to do that. At least I'm not going to do that. I'm having way too much fun watching these sloppy assholes killing themselves one mouthful at a time.

Al Gore On Climate Control

Us Against Them... too

A Teachable Moment

Small Blessings

The Missing Link

Status Re-classification

The Little People

The Limits of Evolution

Living The Dream

If you have a cartoon or humorous blog drop me a line. I'd be glad to exchange links with you.

Where Pirates Roam

When Dialoguing Fails.. Check Your Friends

More Tards Coming Soon

Hey good news for all fans of "Tards" .. the both of you: I'm in a great position to screw off at work these days so I can work more on my Tards-toons! Who says the economy isn't getting better?

Corn

Smoking Pot for Tards

The Wardrobe

Be Careful What You Ask For

Some Women Libbers are Created.. by Men!

They Shoot Back!

Obama Math

A Good Son

Looking for a Deal?

When an Execution is Welcomed

Transgenders should come with Product Warning Lables

A Colorado man has been sentenced to life for killing a transgender. Allen Andrade dated Justin "Angie" Zapata who presented himself as a woman. Bad move.

Andrade, apparently upset over not getting "the real deal" flew into a rage and killed the eighteen-year old Zapata. Without a strong sense of humor we are often goaded by our ego into making the wrong decisions. Now Andrade gets to spend the rest of his life among the very people he can't stand! Ahhh.. the irony.

But honestly, have you ever met a "transgender", without the influence of strong drink, that really, really could pull it off? Most transgeners are kidding themselves. But, I won't push the issue too far because we all can be fooled at some time.. like when we're totally smashed. Not that I personally would ever have been so foolish... but close! The only thing that saved me was my sense of humor when I discovered "she" was a "he". "What the hell is this?" Asked I in a drunken stupor.. "You brought your own? Hell woman I can't beat that!" Oh my, reflections of foolish days of youth.

The signs are always there that what you may be buying into is not what you hope it is. Men don't make good women any more then women make good men.

The woman in the crew cut, Fonzie jacket, white T-shirt and blue jeans chewing on the end of a stogie, complete with Elvis-style sideburns is, well, still female despite whatever may be rolling around in her brain. And the fellow over there in the spandex underwear, hopped up hairstyle, lipstick and tutu is not really Dolly Parton. But these people aren't necessarily out to carry the illusion to extremes. They are easy to spot. The transgender however is a special breed. They hope to complete the deception by presenting themselves as the real McCoy in all aspects.
So with that in mind I am suggesting that all transgenders come with a warning label:

Warning: This product has been tampered with and may not be suitable for it's intended use.

=======================

This little piece was originally written for and posted on gather.com. Then the Nazi squad had a problem with it. I imagine some "gays" were upset and so it was banned. Tsk, tsk, no sense of humor.

Here's the comments that were posted before Hitler censored it:

What an interesting article. I am not so sure what to say on this one, other than wow.
Cortney R., Apr 23, 2009, 1:55pm EDT

As long as the transgendered person is comfortable with his/her body, who should care?

Deceiving a "date" is wrong.

Yes, I've known one who totally passed as a woman. She was from my hometown: Johanna Reese was gorgeous. She married a dentist in Las Vegas. She got the coveted emcee role in "Splash" at ritzy Bally's in Las Vegas. Her voice was feminine and she could sing. She was fired when it was discovered that she had been a male. She committed suicide.
Leo L., Apr 23, 2009, 2:47pm EDT

There are some pre-op transgendered people who can pull it off. A guy who worked at the same place I did years ago was almost fooled at a night club once, dancing with someone he thought was a woman. He realized they weren't a woman, when they were up really close; and the guy had an erection while they were dancing. I don't think it's right though to decieve someone if you're going to date them, or be initimate in any way; but it's sad that someone would be willing to kill over it.
Ellen B., Apr 23, 2009, 3:06pm EDT


"There are some pre-op transgendered people who can pull it off. A guy who worked at the same place I did years ago was almost fooled at a night club once, dancing with someone he thought was a woman." ~ Ellen B

The key here is "almost fooled at a night club".. in other words.. the transgender didn't pull it off. And drink was involved. I rest my case.

Notice.. this article has been "flagged by the community".. it's the same sort of thing that makes it on a far more open forum called NATIONAL PUBLIC RADIO.

Interesting isn't it?
Dan Walter, Apr 24, 2009, 7:22am EDT

The Mess We're In

Some bar flies were sitting around talking politics recently. One man claimed that Obama will straighten out the mess George W. left behind.

Another man claimed Obama IS the mess George W. left behind. While a third man claimed it was Bill Clinton who's to blame because he was too busy chasing tail to pay any attention to the threats building around him.

Then an old codger way at the back of the bar stood up, whipped down his zipper and pissed all over the table he was drinking at. He then calmly sat back down, raised his mug and yelled, "Fuck you all!"

Sitting on My Ass Thinking About Death Threats

I'm sitting on my ass more these days.. still working out but I never like work to interfer with my workouts! Anywho.. I hope to knock out some more cartoons for this blog which I've been neglecting now for awhile.

I see I have one subscriber.. so whoever you are, thank you! I thought I was alone in this and so I just worked around the cob webs from time-to-time but if someone is actually interested enough to subscribe then I guess I ought to get off my ass and get to work. No, well, really I work better sitting on my ass and working on this. But, you get my drift.

With all the crazy stuff coming out of Washington there's plenty to laugh about. And if not for laughter we all would end up knotheads writing death threats to whomever we didn't like. Which, isn't a bad hobby but only after you've retired and can't think of a single good thing to say about anyone anyhow.

George and Me

I've been working non-stop on a comic strip feature I hope to send off to the syndicates. It's a form of inflecting hell on myself that I go through every so many years. Like a drug addict that can't resist blowing insanity up his nose.

I so love collecting rejection slips. It's comforting to know that after all the work I pour into these things that someone takes the time to tell me, "Hell no we can't use this sh*#!". It's also a challenge to continue to send off more crap, to collect yet more rejection slips. And thus the cycle continues. It's a weird way of reaffirming who I am.

George W. Bush may be the most well known rejected person in America today but at times like these I feel he has nothing on me. :O/